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I felt like walking down and wading in, but the bottom would be soft and muddy, and my bare feet would sink in. I might lose my footing, so I just stood there in front of my horse and wondered what if anything a horse might think seeing a naked seventeen year-old girl in front of him. I let all the fear of getting caught dissolve away, and just enjoyed the sun and the wind playing against my bare skin, then thought back to all my imagined reactions to this moment when I had played them out in my mind. The thing I had never anticipated was how transitory it would all seem, in the moment when I had to ride back to safety and get my clothes back on. I wanted to just stay out here and be naked forever. Deep down, I even wanted someone to see me, because it all seemed so unreal to actually be doing it, and not just fantasizing about it. I climbed back up in the saddle, and thought about heading back to the woods and leaving the saddle on the log so I could ride my horse truly bareback,. “Master Justin I need you to be angry about it. Even if you have to pretend. I don’t normally regret or feel bad about anything I do. I hate this feeling. I feel like I betrayed you and fucked up your life. I really need you to beat the shit out of me and call me Cunt or Bitch from now on. If you don’t it is just going to eat away at me,” she said.I agreed although I wasn’t sure I could muster up that kind of anger. I was just too easy going of a guy, and I really hadn’t processed what happened. If my dad fucked her, then that was on him for betraying my mom. Betty didn’t put a gun to his head. My mom had an epic meltdown at the end of the day. I wasn’t sure I could fault her for that either. If she was drinking because she knew what my father did and suddenly stripped naked, then it was definitely the alcohol. My Dad had drunk too, but he had hardly drunk enough to justify what he did, and I was probably angrier with him then I could ever be with Betty.“It may seem like I am going.
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